Gentle words

What can a word do to a person? They are only words; nothing tangible, how could they make you feel happy? I was thinking yesterday of some words that I liked. I like it when my mother says “3omri” to me.

I like it when my brother says “you are the best sister in the world”.

I like it when my father says “I am proud of you”.

I like it when Ra-1 calls me “daiseyah”.

I like it when my sister travels with my mom and then call to say “I really wish that you were with me”

I liked it when Boghazi once wrote " i'm sure all of us here don't wanna hurt ur feelings in anyway.On the mean time, forget about all this & get back to the cheerful old TF we all know :)” and all his caring comments and emails.

I liked it when Purg once wrote ” even though I do not read all your posts, and even though you call me psycho (alla yesam7ech :P) you are one of the most sensitive bloggers around, cute and sweet. “

I liked it when Bo rashed once wrote ” I would say ur cute 24 yrs old grl, either wear e7gab (true one with no hair appears) or not but wear decent simple cloths. quite & conservative with strangers, cool funny with friends. sometimes u have the cycles: (sad with no reason or happy with no reason)1 last point: sharp & clear person”

I liked it when sarpanch once wrote "If only there were more people like you ... "

I liked it when Bo Maryoom once wrote "ان شاء الله دوم سعيده"

I liked it when q8ibloger once wrote ” May Allah make you in your life Happy 3ala6ool”

I liked it when Suvai once wrote ” Only being able to express yourself with words is a gift all on its own.I respect your courage”

I liked it when hope once wrote “don't lose hope!! God has it all for us and the stronger ur faith is, the better the stuttering will become. God does not forget anyone”

I liked it when Al once draw a smile on my face by posting “I will send u my pic, enlarge it and put it in the room, it will give the room all the magic,humor,life,love it needs... no need to spend money for decos.. ;) “

I liked it when Hopless poet once wrote “Walk and may god bless you with every step you talk :)”

I liked it when simon once wrote “ :) Bless you, and thank you for giving me a smile with the story of your pushing forward despite your sufferings!”

I liked nooni’s cheerful note “you know what I can give you all the attention and go with your word flow without listing a word of what you are saying :) be careful”

I liked it when Mr. sensible once wrote “good on you!I hope you get all the attention you rightly deserve :)”

I liked it when Vintage once wrote ” malat 3alih... golele waina ana atfil bwayha sij !!” Yes I did like it :p

I liked it when Branchy once wrote “Take care Bud & God bless :-) “

I liked it when Shaymz once wrote “ and u know what, we all live once, and life is short, so try not to stress too much on the negative things in order to enjoy the positive aspects of life.”

I liked it when aquamarine once wrote ” What could a person get from another"? Friendship. Companionship. "What could a person need from another"? Someone to talk to. Express your feelings to. A shoulder to cry on. Comfort. Love. Compassion. And you're "looking for a person"? Aren't we all? A person who will make us feel happy and alive? Someone we can talk to about anything and everything? Someone to share the rest of our lives with?”

I liked The Don's comment on Random thoughts.

Wass I know that you are reading this post; I like the words that you write to me in every email you send. Thank you All :D

I need your help

Why do they have it and we don’t; because we didn’t start it ; I only need you to build it. It is a thing that will give us stutters in Kuwait a lot. Would you help me to start it? In most countries of the world there are Institutions, organizations, and support groups for people who stutter, I have been searching for one in Kuwait or any other Arab country; and found nothing. Dear Bloggers I will need your help to pass my announcement to those that you know that stutters or have a friend or relative that stutters. I would appreciate it and will never forget your support. Email: Q8stutter@gmail.com

Sun Rise

Bad mood :(

1. I was really sick yesterday that I called Ra-1 to take me to the Hospital.
2. I had two injections, and then went home and had five kinds of pain killers.
3. I was crying all day telling my mom that I want to go to England, and then she yelled at me: “Go marry an English guy O فكينا"
4. Then I cried again because she yelled at me.
5. Then I started a fight with my sister; I don’t remember why!
6. I asked the cook to do me tuna sandwiches for lunch, but when I woke up today there was no tuna sandwiches because my brother toke them.
7. Before coming to work today I had my breakfast and a cup of coffee which was really bad, I had my second cup of coffee at office which was worse.
8. I am now at work and still didn’t start doing my work.
9. I changed my template 7 times today, still don’t like it.
10. If the annoyer calls me today I ensure you راح أبرد حرتي فيه

Gmail Accounts

If you want a Gmail account just tell me and I will send you an invitation. I have 50 Invitations.

I hate him

What could I say more than that? I received a call from him this morning; Annoyer: Hi TF did you call Ahmad to tell him about the rate fixing? TF: Not yet; First I have to finish the ......... Annoyer: Yes, I understand what you want to say; please if you finish that, call him. TF: *Shocked with no words out* Annoyer: Bye. TF: *Wants to kill him* I HATE THIS MAN

Attention please

I know that most of you are bored from my stutter posts, but as Bo ghazi once commented on one of my previous posts: "TF, post whatever you wanna post whenever you feel like it. I mean after all its your blog right" and he is right. Attention please If you know a person that stutters please give him/her all your attention when he/she speaks, I know that it is some times boring for you to wait for a stutterer to complete his/her speech, still it is better than him/her suffering the rest of his/her life. When I begin a dialog, the person that I am talking to usually pays me attention until I start stuttering, any other thing in this world could take the attention from me. Some times people ask me a question and when I start answering I get stocked in blocked words, which make them ignore me and start another dialog with another person. At this moment I feel that I want to cry and can’t wait to go home to start crying . When I reach home I run to my room; Still I can't cry. That bad feeling stays there and it could stay for days then goes but when ever I remember it I want to cry. Most of you had seen “The other sister” movie. For those who did you know the part when Carla shouts at people: "Don't laugh at me" I some times want to shout at people: “Attention please”.

Fluent Image

This picture was taken by me; not that good, I know. Thanks to Brachypelma for helping me choose the Camera and advice me a book to learn from. I will be attending some photographic classes from next month. I hope that my work will get better after that course. Well, I wrote this post to invite you all to see my work in my new web site that will include all of my work bad and good. The web site will include nothing but photos; it is a kind of gallery thing. Hope you like it. www.fluentimage.com

Magic and colors

Watching Harry Potter, Marry poppins, Finding Nemo, Shark tale, Jungle book, Ice age with my little brothers is the most enjoing thing I ever did. How could I explain the feeling that is in me when I watch such movies, it feels like me in wonder land. It is Marvlous when discussing those movies with my little brothers and how wonderful it was and what part we most liked, we some times sit for more than 45 minutes talking about it, for a grown up it is along time to discuss one subject, so it must be very long for my little brothers to do. Boodi ( 6 years old): It was great when that ugly fish was dancing. Loosh(9 years old): show TF how you could imitate it. Boodi: *dancing all over the room imitating it*. TF: *laughing so hard*. Loosh: The part I liked most is when they were cleaning the Wales dirty mouth. Boodi: It was disgusting. TF: *still laughing* Boodi imitate him again, hehehehe Boodi: I can’t my trousers are too tight. Loosh: Change your clothes and come imitate him again. Boodi: Ok but 3ala shar6. TF: Yeh I know, no tagree9 e`7dood for today. Boodi: Yes, and no big hugs also. TF: Ok. Color me mine is the place that my little brothers never get bored from; I pay every time we go there KD 20 – KD 30; to be honest I enjoy it too. Boodi: Hala, Are we going to color me mine today? TF: No sweetie, it’s Sunday today and you have school tomorrow, I will take you next Thursday. Boodi: I hate you :”( TF: I hate you too. Boodi: No you don’t (with his evil smile) TF: why not? Boodi: ya3ni `7ala9, you are not going to take us again? TF: I will only take the people that I love. Boodi: Do you love me? TF: If you love me, I do love you. Boodi: I love you TF: I will take you but on Thursday, Ok. Boodi: Ok Aren’t they cute?

Is it that easy

Is it that easy? To do what is forbidden in Islam. There are Kuwaitis, who are Muslims and drink alcoholic drinks, go to bars to drink when they are out of Kuwait. Some have an official relation ship with the other gender with out marriage. Some don’t even pray. Is it that easy to lose your brain for moments of pleasure; and take all what Allah gave you with out paying him back by praying to him and thanking him for all what you have. Is it easy to hear the call for pray from a mosque near you and don’t go to pray? What is it with those people, is it that they don’t really believe in their religion any more? Or they believe but give their pleasure the priority? Or is it that their instincts are moving them like animals? Don't they feel straitened and griefed? May Allah lead us all to the right path to Heaven.

Bad Weather

Rainy, cloudy and dark, I have always hated this weather. I hate it more in Kuwait; it reminds me of London and makes me feel homesick. I miss London a lot :(

I still can talk

The most annoying thing that happens to me during my stuttering is when someone completes my sentences. It goes like that: TF: “I think that if we change the ….. C… “ Annoyer: “Credit” TF:”No” With that look of mine. Annoyer: “Current?” TF: “No” With another kind of look that means (shut up or I will kill you) Annoyer: “Then do you mean ….” TF: “PLEASE , do not complete my sentences; Yes I stutter but I still can talk. So please let me finish” Annoyer: “Sorry, what were you going to say?” TF: “I forgot” I don’t know about other stutterers but I really hate it when other people complete my sentences. It does not make it easier; it make me feel that this person is in a hurry and can’t wait, which makes me force my self to talk but still can’t. BTW, the Annoyer in the dialog was my supervisor :p

Turkish Indian style

I will be moving to a new house soon, and I have there a bed room with big three windows all with a wonderful view to the house front garden, dressing room and a private bath room. I want it to fit my personality as my current one doesn’t. I thought of a Turkish + Indian style. It would have a not properly finished walls looking, with a calm color (not white may be the pinkish violet color), and dark brown antique furniture; not big size furniture, Colorful beads curtains for windows and one to separate the bed room from the dressing room. The ceiling will be plain with no details. The “beside bed” chandeliers will be the old crystal kind. It will have many cushions with hand work details and beads. Not sure about the floor. I want it to be a colorful antique room. Please do give me your opinion.

Culture

As I grow up abroad my culture was different than many of those who grew up here. Why? The cartoons and programs that I have watched when I was a little kid were different, and if one is the same it has a different name. Once I was talking with my cousin about a cartoon serial that I watched; it was called SARA; I told her that she was an Indian girl her mother died and her father took her to London to join a boarder school. Suddenly my cousin said “Oh, you mean Sally?” I said “No, her name was Sara”, “No I am sure she is Sally” she said. Well, we were both right; Sally is the Arabic version of Sara. Still this was the only program that we both share, nothing else. I watched many programs when I was little, but there were favorites: Marry Poppins L’apperentie Sorciere Postman Pad Gummi Bears Rainbow Brite Care Bears Thomas the Train Popples My Little Pony Sara

Moments of Magic

Sometimes for no reason I feel happy. It’s the moments of magic; waking up happy singing with my terrible voice all day. Or sometimes just for moments I feel happy; go and give my mom and dad huge hugs and take my little brothers to Fantasy World; bring my sister a gift. It feels as that some one threw a magic spell on me.

Just walking

I like doing sports; I usually jump the rope every morning, play basket ball every weekend with my cousins and walk. But walking is my favorite activity, walking has another side than sports. It is me feeling fluent when walking it is a spreading of thoughts and a talking way with out words;

I walk fluently with out stammering. Just walk, never will stammer and never will fall. Spread my thoughts with no words, just walk. As far as I could; no border is there and no wall.

It hurts

Pain, tears and sadness, I am full of those. It will never get better, and I will always be hurt inside without any one feeling that. I will always cry without tears. I will always be hurt by other’s words and the way they look at me. I will always be suffering to say what I feel; I can’t use the sign language because I am not deaf although I wish I could. I start talking and suddenly my words get blocked, can’t quit talking and can’t continue. OH MY GOD PLEASE HELP ME CRY. I REALLY NEED IT. No people you don’t understand what I feel. It hurts. It hurts to say what you don’t mean. It hurts to suffer without others feeling it. It hurts to be made fool of. It hurts to not be able to introduce your self to others. It hurts to be afraid to ask a simple question. It hurts to be a good looking person but look ugly when you start stuttering. It hurts to feel better talking to your teddy bear than your friends or family. It hurts to be a stutterer.

و الصبح إذا تنفس

Waking up early has many health and emotional benefits. One of the most wonderful ones is the sky breathing (I call it like that since I was a little girl); after the sun rises up you feel the air in your lungs like another soul entering yours. Inhale … Exhale …. Inhale …. Exhale. Amazing. I feel that the sky is breathing; as if it is inhaling all the polluted air and exhaling a fresh Air; and that some of its soul is coming out with it. Don’t miss it.