Full Moon

I see a smiling face with lazy eyes. It is looking directly at me wondering in my eyes. This is what I see in a full moon.

Read Loud

My heart is beating so fast and strongly as if it is going to come out of my chest; my face is getting hot; I am feeling dizzy; my turn is close. “TF, Read” the teacher said. I can’t read loudly, it is why I hate English classes. After I finish reading I have this bad pain in my chest, my breathing gets hard. I feel that I will faint; my whole body keeps shaking until I get my Oxygen fixed. And I want to cry hardly, but never did.

Happy Birthday MOM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM

Theory

What controls your decisions? Is it your mind? No, maybe your Heart!! Or might it be your soul! Hmmm Well let me put it in another way. Your Mind refers to the logic side of your thinking. Your Heart refers to the Emotional side of your thinking. Your Soul refers to your own believes. Do you Use the same way of thinking in every decision you make? What is the best way of thinking? What will happen if you think by using the three ways? What makes a good decision? I think if we use the three ways in one time and one direction, we will get the better decision. If we could.

Selfish

I was called selfish by one of my friends … "You are selfish" … "You only think of what pleases you" … "yeah, live for your self " ... Why? What did I do? I refused to publish some topics that I wrote in a magazine. She showed the publisher my topics with out asking me and told him my name. Yes, this is all what I did. “I don’t like media” I told her .. Does that make me selfish.. or is it a thing that concerns me and only me? "Selfish, You don’t have to like a thing to do it" I don’t do things I am not convinced with. Does that make me selfish? “Convince me” Is a word that I use a lot. Does that make me selfish? "Do things for other people; let them share with you your ideas" These are mine, I shared them with her as a friend, and that’s all. "That is not enough; make every body share it with you" I don’t want fame, I hate fame, I really don’t want to be famous; Especially in that field. Am I SELFISH?

Phone I Fear

Most of you have read “How do I Feel?” post. It was hard for me to write it but in someway I had to. Well from Today I will start posting some of my feelings that I didn’t tell any body about before. But I will not stop posting other things as well. “Phone I fear” is going to be my first. Yes I fear using the phone it is really hard for me to talk by phone especially with those that I am not used to talk with, People who are not my family members (Mother, Father, Brothers & Sister), Friends, and colleges (Not all of them). The most things I fear is that someone will not wait in the other side of the phone, for example: True Faith: ………. H … Person: Hello Hello True Faith: …. H… Hello Person: Yes True Faith: ……. Person: Yes Hello True Faith: …. Person: Hello tooot tooot tooot My Parents don’t understand this situation sometimes, and sometimes forget about it. As when one of my relatives is in hospital or had a new baby or what ever happened to him/her, My Parents opens with me the following dialog: Parents: Did you visit A? True Faith: I didn’t have time, but I will tomorrow Parents: A phone call wouldn’t be bad until you visit. True Faith: I prefer visiting than calling. Parents: What an excuse ! True Faith: No, I really mean it, I prefer visiting, but I didn’t have time; I will tomorrow. Parents: Ok, what ever, why should we bother our selves about it. It’s you not us. True Faith: You don’t understand, What ever. When my family is out of Kuwait, I unplug the phone. And I don’t answer any phone calls when I am in home (Only my mobile). P.S. No sympathy is allowed : )

FOR YOU

Some & ME

Sunshine & ME: I love light never stay in dark. It’s the morning life that I live in and always sleep at night. I like to see the sunshine view when I am in the chalet (Never missed it) and don’t like the Sunset view, It makes my heart griefed. If I am going to get married I will do my party at 8 AM, yes AM it will be a breakfast and lunch one. Because I always suffer from wedding parties, I always have my sleepy eyes and that attitude ((I am dying to sleep)). Daisy & ME: Daisy is my teddy bear, he is a special one; I had him since 1988, from England of course, He has no mouth : ! , and has a wonderful nose. I love him so much; I feel that he is a live. Makeup & ME: I believe that make up is a physiologic problem of not accepting your look. It never attracted me since I was a little girl; I think putting make up in occasions is not necessary, but if I don’t put people think that I am a Gothic or a lesbian, So I put but not as much as others. Well I like my face as it is; I am not that pretty or something, but I am a good looking person; so why should I put MAKE UP? Kids & ME: They are the sweetest creatures in this Universe; I admire them; I love them, I am one of them. I know how to deal with them very good. Kids are these kinds of creatures that do what ever they want, when ever they want and where ever they want. They are so Smart, Wicked and Kind. When I go to a public place, they just come to me wanting to play with me, or ask me about my name. My mobile is full of their pictures. First Expression & ME: My first expression about people is always right, never wrong. My friends trust me in that. First meeting is enough for me to know if I want to deal with that person or not. Summer & ME: Love it, Love it and Love it. It is always sunny, the day time is longer, and I always feel fresh and alive. ME & ME: Faith in ME.

Faith

Faith 1: There is a god and only one; He is Allah, no one but him. Faith 2: Mohammed (PBUH) is a prophet, and he is the last. Faith 3: Destiny is there, but hard work is a must. Faith 4: Faith in my self, which I am good, and could do what ever I want. Faith 5: That I have to search, work, and sweat to reach my goals. Faith 6: My future will be good. Faith 7: Mercy of Allah, So heaven is my destiny (Insha`a Allah). Faith 8: Respect comes before love. Faith 9: All people are good except the bad ones (not vice versa) Faith 10: To be decided by you : )

أرحنا بها يا بلال

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) used to tell Belal Ibn Rabah "أرحنا بها يا بلال". My father always reminds us of that saying, he tells us "أرحنا بها و ليس منها". He means by that don’t make your prayers only a must that you have to do and then go to complete what ever you were doing; feel it, rest your soul with it and wait for it as something you really want to do. It’s not just a must; it’s a soul rest.

Random Thoughts

Thought 1: Why do people smoke… they smell awful … they disturb non smokers… its bad for their health… Thought 2: Leaving Kuwait and going back to England … Can’t merge with the society … But long time from England; and afraid that I will not merge with the English society also. Any way my family will refuse. Thought 3: I got my Finance certificate, got a good job, is that all? … No need more. But what’s more? … A small project to start with, maybe. Thought 4: What could a person get from another? … What could a person need from another? I am looking for a person … What person? I have no idea … Why? I have no idea.