I need a miracle

I need to cry I need my tears to come down fresh I need them to be for this moment from this instant feeling I need them not to be expired I need them not to be from old memories I need them not to be from past attempts I need them to come down fresh I need them to come down warm I need them to come down warm to thaw the ice covering my heart I need them not to be cold to not shatter when it meets my burning soul I need them to come down fresh I need them flood and wash the hotness from my face I need them to come down fresh To wash the fears away I need them to come down fresh To wash the anger away I need them to come down fresh I need them to bring all the pain down I need them to come down fresh I need them to come down fresh Just once and then they could go away again I need them just once and they could never come back again I need them to come down fresh just once Once and never again Just once

For a while

What is in my mind can’t be written. They are many thoughts that I have loaded my mind with. I have merged them to be one big thought. I would write it but if I start I will never finish writing, I will continue writing to an endless point. I will not write until this big thought becomes the many thoughts that could be written. I know you don’t understand. I don’t understand too.

In earth again

يا ورد ... يا هوا ... يا نور شمس ما تنطفي يا صبح ... يا فجر ... يا نسيم يوم ما ينتهي يا فراش ...... ياطير طاير و في حضن السما مختفي أبي دربي ... أبي أرضي ... أبي أعرف وين أنتمي

It's not my fault

While watching a video clip for Abudlmajid Abdullah for his lately released song غنوا لحبيبي. I said to my self in a voice that could be heard by who is sitting near me: "I will do the same for my daughter". "And where is she" my mom said "Someday she will come" I replied. My mom paused for a while and then said "When ever her father comes you kick him out of the door". "Her father didn’t show yet and maybe he will never do" A normal conversation that had became for some years now; When ever my mom finds the opportunity to start it she does. She always blames me for not getting married and having my own children. I admit that I share the responsibility of that and that I am a picky type yet it’s not my fault alone. I have some conditions that I will never renounce but they are all for the good of my future family and life. What my family has as conditions is what I don’t understand. "Family name". It never matters how good the guy is, well educated, well behaved and good aims he had. It is always the family name that comes first.

Tearing nights

The sun came back, observing me, touching my face, feeling my tears. ''What went wrong? You were okay when I left you last time, why is this sadness in you?'' You left me with the night and its darkness You left me to sense the loneliness in its shades You left me alone to remember every bad memory in my life You made my tears fall on my heart and burn my soul ''Dearest True Faith, I have sent my rays through the moon to reflect them on you; to shine your night, to clear your thoughts and bring good memories to you'' I miss you dear sun I miss the whiteness in your clouds I miss your blue sky I miss your morning breeze I miss your singing birds I miss your dew on my flowers ''Come to me, and live in my rays''

Scrutinize

Our eyes are one major way to knowing this world. Each one of us would not sense the meaning of colours and shapes if not for their eyes; hands might do a good job knowing shapes yet eyes are the perfect and normal way. A colour as red that we all call red; might differ from eye to another; not the sharpness of it or it’s brightness; the colour it self I meant. I know that this thought seems crazy and no way to be true. But we always say that people have different tastes in things they see or wear; what if it was they all have the same taste yet the different way of seeing the colours and shapes. What if what I see as red, you see as green, she sees as purple and he sees as yellow; all according to my way of seeing colours? What if what I see as a triangle with sharp edges you see as a circle also with sharp edges according to your way of seeing shapes? I know that this thought might make no sense to you? But think of it deeply and you might find the sense in it.

I belong in London

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

Your Element is Earth

Your power color: yellow Your energy: balancing Your season: changing of seasons Dedicated and responsible, you are a rock to your friends. You are skilled at working out even the most difficult problems. Low key and calm, you are happiest when you are around loved ones. Ambitious and goal oriented, you have long term plans to be successful.

What Element Are You?

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

White and Black

A heart in a scientific point of view is not the source of emotions; it’s the brain, still I like to link emotions to the heart. A heart as I believe is white with a small black dot when a human is first created. The black dot is a combined of envy, hate, jealousy and evil; and this dot might grow according to the circumstances, environment, education, and life path. Which part will be stronger when two people meet each other; is what I have thought of a lot, I mean that if I meet "A" for example, I might like her from her smile or dislike her from her look; I might even avoid her after that for no reason, it’s like that my black part was stronger in that specific time or it might be that my white part has noticed her black part. And if both of our black parts have met; we might both have the same bad feelings toward each other. How can I control my self in such situations is to give the chance to my white part to meet A's white part, to seek for the goodness in her; and try as much as I could to give her white part enough time to begin searching for mine. I hope you all have a stronger white part in your hearts

You Want Rain, You got rain

This weather is really scaring me. And there is no electricity; my coffee maker is not working. I and Ra-1 have decided to not go to work today (until the weather is settled). So; who wants to join us?

Flying deep

A Sunny day it was when I started to seek for a lake I remember being there, some where in the forest near my hut. I have been away for some time and this lake would change its place from time to time and move following the sun rays. After two days of searching, I found it at last and kept tracing it to observe its movements and know where to find it when ever I need it again. The water was warm, pure and perfumed with the best fragrance ever. I started flying deep in it trying to reach it’s depth that I have never reached before. There always have been an opposite force that would push me back; the force is weaker this time, still I couldn’t reach it.

I smell winter

I am not a fan of the winter, rainy, desert and gloomy season. But I have been smelling winter these days. Not good Well, I didn’t always hate it. When I was a little child (a cute one) I used to live in Sheffield in north England, it was a ghost city as Wass describes it. It is really cold there in all seasons especially in winter when it snows. I enjoyed doing a snow man and throwing snow balls at my brother who would start crying and go tell my mom (فتان). I was as Purg once commented a Paddington bear, I used to wear an overall snow coat, rubber boots (my boots were froggie boots with froggie eyes :P), ear cover, wool scarf and wool clothes; I used to wear that just to reach school or play outside. Then we moved to North London Cricklewood. It didn’t snow much as in Sheffield, but when it snows I, my brother, sister, two of my friends, one of my brother’s friends and our neighbour would go to play in a park near us; and do the ugliest snow man ever. In Central London it wasn’t fun at all in winter, it was always raining and when it snows it becomes filthy and grey. Winter in Kuwait is a desert winter; not much raining but really cold. And I am always ill in winter, I get the cold each time one of my family members gets it, and my asthma gets worse. Those clouds get me the gruffly feelings; I don’t go out much because I always feel it’s already sunset time. But once, all of my father’s family went camping in K.S.A’s desert for ten days and we joined them; we camped in the middle of the desert where no humans could be seen, it was freezing yet was fun.

Ugliness behind colours

A face with no specific features; coloured with paints to hide the real identity of ugliness. To see the true them, just obtain an eye contact with there evil eyes. They have the evil souls that where planted by the devil him self on earth. Their souls have nothing; but hate and jealousy. Clowns are good in hiding what they really are by acting funny all the time. They could mislead humans to the right way of amusement. They are good in making humans believe that that fake laughter is true. Seek inside their eyes and you will see dead children and destroyed countries. Seek deeper and you will see hell and souls burning in it. They have no language and no nationality and they share the same aim of demolish. Related Memory: I was 9 and was invited to Sara’s Birthday party (our British –Egyptian neighbor’s). I came a little late because my school was so far from our house. After entering their house I was shocked to see this ugly creature standing their doing his silly acts and those innocent children laughing at him. I sat behind all the kids to avoid being close to him. He looked at me and said: "Hey… you Pakistani girl" "I am not Pakistani I am from Kuwait" I replayed. "What’s your name?" he said. I started stammering while saying my name and then he started imitating me and children started to laugh at me, it was really embarrassing. I went and sat on the couch near Sara’s handicapped brother Sami; he looked at me and started tapping on my head, then he said in his heavy not clear words "You have a beautiful hair"; I smiled to him and went home before blowing Sara’s candles.

Never Back

Kuwait

Dubai

Abu Dhabi

Dubai

Kuwait

For more photos visit Fluent Image.

عيديه

Eid is the best day of the year, at least to me. Yes I do enjoy that day and wait for it with expectation, though my family does not take it seriously as I do. I don’t like the money giving concept in Eid; I never give money as Eid gift as I didn’t enjoy that when I was a kid when spending our Eid holidays in Kuwait, I have always favored the gifts. My little brothers do enjoy the gifts I give to them more than other people’s money gifts, because it is different and has been specially bought and rapped for them. Eid is a gift from Allah to Muslims after the Holy month of blessings, forgiveness and disengage from hell. We should take this gift seriously and respect the true meanings of it, we should always put in our minds that God didn’t gift us this to lose what we gained in Ramadan, and we should use it to bonus our deeds and walk a farther step to heaven. Don’t replace your Ramadan deeds with Eid sins. I will be traveling soon to spend my Eid holidays some where in this world. Enjoy your Eid and wish me the same. عيدكم مبارك و عساكم من عواده