switched off

I have been trying to contact my mind, but when ever I try I get this message. “Your mind is switched off or out of the coverage area please try later”

The Journey

I am a stubborn and sometimes selfish, or not. Well that what some people tell me. I am not easily convinced; still I don’t force my ideas. I like to live my life the way I want no matter what others want me to do. I don’t like to be forced to things even if they were right and like doing them; if it is not by my will I never do it. My life is decisions that I take by my self, and I hate to be controlled. I do seek for advice some times and do appreciate them. Sometimes fighting is not easy; sometimes I lose my strength, I have been so close to surrender but there were things that supplied me with strength. They were my tears long time ago but now they're my smile and laughter. Life is not easy and people are harsh. Dreariness is killing me, I am not sure if I could handle it anymore. I have no home and I don’t belong, and I have always been blamed for those feelings but it’s not my fault. The Journey by Mary Oliver never fails in making me feel good. One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice -- though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do -- determined to save the only life you could save.

With or Against

"Experiments on animals should be banned". "I can’t eat meat; those poor creatures have to be killed so we could eat them". "When I see a lady wearing a furrier coat I feel terrible and I want to go hit her". I can’t relate my self to any of the above quotes. I laugh when somebody say such things. This reaction (Laughing) might seem rude to some people; but I can’t resist. I am against anguish treatment and hunting for fun yet I believe that animals are here to serve humans; they are created to be eaten, to take their fur and make clothes and rugs of them, to use their waste for agricultural uses, to try medicines on them before using them on humans to see if it has any side affects, to pet them, use them for transparent needs, leave some of them live to retention the life cycle. If not, people will be eating VG food only which means Ra-1 will die from hunger, wearing tree leaves and not all look good in these, and trying medicines on other humans which means more nut heads. If we don’t use them they will be more animals than this planet could hold; and this planet is already full with useless humans.

Shopping skills

Shopping with others is not a good thing to do. I went two weeks ago with my sister and cousin to find me a dress for my sister’s wedding party. Simple and elegant is what I want. My sister and cousin want me to get something different than I usually wear; they want me to change my style a bit. We met at 5 pm at a coffee shop and then went on our searching trip to five different places; when ever I choose something they say NO SO SIMPLE; IT’S YOUR SISTER’S WEDDING. When ever they choose something I say NOWAY I’M GONNA WEAR THIS. We go back home and I decide to go on a weekend morning after having my morning caffeine fix and with no shopping partners. And BINGO I find this simple, elegant, gorgeous dress that was made for TF to wear. The price was a bit more than what I decided to pay for the dress yet didn’t mind paying the extra money. And Here Is The Dress Like it? :P

Think

What is he thinking of ?

A honeymoon and a reception

Preparing for my sister's wedding party is bringing me to the edge of craziness. Last year when we were preparing for my brother's wedding party and knowing how much my poor dad had to pay; I told my father wouldn't it be better if you give him the money to buy him and his wife new cars and go for a two months honeymoon and he could invest the remaining amount for his future kids expenses. And now when coming to my sister it's getting crazy; though the groom will pay for major stuff, my father will still have to pay a huge amount to prepare my sister to be the best bride ever (Sure she will be). Last night while my mom and sister were writing the list of invitations, I was doing my puzzle and listening to the names that they will invite. God those are too many people to invite, too many people that will be with us in the same hall, too many people that will enjoy their time dancing, gossiping and eating, and my poor sister will be sitting there watching ugly faces with loads of makeup, people who will be talking about her most of the time, about if they liked her dress or not, about the wedding party if it was good or not, about if she was beautiful or not (She is no matter if they admit it or not), she will be nervous waiting for her groom to take her out of that hell. After getting all of these thoughts in my mind I told my mom: "A honeymoon and a small reception party when I am back; only my close friends and those who I like from your friends and relatives will be invited" my mom didn't reply, so I continued talking: "If I will not enjoy my own wedding party then no one should; it's mine and I am the one who should enjoy it" My mom wasn't glad about what I said, and she said: "It is about traditions and life style; people in our community celebrate their wedding parties like this and we can't be different or less" "By that it's the guests who are celebrating the wedding not the bride and groom; it makes no sense to me if I don't enjoy my own party" I replied. Then my sister starts talking: "I agree that I will not enjoy my wedding as I should, yet I might regret it if I didn't do a wedding party and I will feel happy when watching it recorded later". "I can't see any sense in that; it's something I don't get when paying huge amounts of money to please other people and show them that I could do better parties than they did and get some records of me in that party that supposed to be mine; smiling and pretending to be happy about it and welcoming the guests though I don't know most of them and don't like others and some don't like me and are gossiping about me, my sister and my mother; others are comparing between me and my groom as if it is a beauty contest and discussing the matter if we deserve each other or not. Going in a honeymoon together and then celebrating our happiness with people we love is much better than an expensive party, that money could be spent on better things; things that will return with benefits on me". No response from them so I continue doing my puzzle.

Pain

A burning skewer finding its way in my body; and settles in my spine. Choosing its favorite organ and spinning through it. Waking me from my deep sleep with pain shocks so fast that I could not ignore; it’s growing and spreading; it's shrinking to settle again. Nightmares and strange dreams; sleeping and getting shocked; waking up and twisting. Getting up trying to reach the pain killer; it’s away so far away. Pain reduces; I go back to sleep and dream that I had my pain killer. Another shock but not as the ones before; a shock that made me sit and curve like a shrimp not knowing where the pain is, not knowing the source of it. I try to reach my mobile but can’t spread my arm enough to reach it. Suddenly it’s morning and I wonder if that was a dream, as soon as I try to get up, the pain shocks me again, I reach my pain killer and have two pills of it; wait in my bed curving like a shrimp until its gone. Nothing, until now. I wonder what that was. It’s not the strongest pain I’ve had yet the strangest.

No more rain

I was searching for my umbrella, could not find it any where. WHO TOOK MY UMBRELLA ? Why do you want it? It’s not raining outside. I want to make sure that it will not rain. When ever I take my umbrella with me, it doesn’t rain. So I went last week and bought a new Umbrella and since then it’s sunny and good. It will not rain this year because I will take my magic umbrella with me where ever I go. Sorry but I hate rainy days.