"Tomorrow" I love you

My future is a dream; every single step of my future is a dream by it self, I have thought of all what will happen, nothing I have missed. This year, next year, the year after, and after, and after. All in papers and mind all ready to take a role in reality.It will be a great show; many countries, cultures, smiley faces, tons of tears and laughter, music, dances, many Everests will be climbed, many walls will be knocked down, snow and sun; thunder and rain, beaches and forests, planes, ships, trains, horses, seagulls. I have many scenarios for how things will happen. I really wish that my future will be something different than all my scenarios; something much better. I love tomorrow. Tomorrow is my favourite day. It’s hope, it’s future, it’s the unknown. Life is always about what’s going to happen tomorrow. Tomorrow is what I could make. Tomorrow is the day with no regret because it’s never here. Tomorrow is “my dreams coming true”.

Talk

What are they talking about?

يوميات حجيه

7 Jan 2006

• Arrived at King Fahad – Dammam Air port at 10 am.

• The flight navigated at 12:30 pm to Taif ; it was a Turkish flight rented by Saudi airways.

• We arrived at Taif at 3:04 pm and headed by bus to Mecca. It took us more than 4 hours to arrive to our destination.

• We reached what they call a camp; it was a big wedding hall. Not a pleasant place at all. Too many people, sleeping together in one big hall. I felt like a refugee, not a pleasant feeling.

• I had a shower accepting the water to be at least warm; but for my surprise it was freezing. I paid for something better.

• They have served dinner; I don’t feel like eating, I will see what my cousin says about their food.

• My cousin didn’t eat any, and took a pringouls pack out of her bag instead (Seems she didn’t like the food).

• It’s 11:30 pm now and I have to get ready to go do my Omra. Hope it goes well.

8 Jan 2006

• 12:15 am we left the camp and went to the holy mosque to do our Omra.

• 2:00 am we reached the holy mosque. GOD WHERE DID THOSE COME FROM was my reaction. TO MANY PEOPLE; ALL IN ONE PLACE.

• We made our Tawaf through the big crowd; it was really hard and exhausting. The guys (My brother and two of my Saudi cousins) surrounded us (Me; my cousin, my cousin’s wife, my uncle’s wife) from three different parts to make sure that we don’t separate.

• We finished the Tawaf at 4:30 am after that we went to the roof to do our saáie because it was impossible to do it down stairs or at the first floor.

• We finished at 6:03 am, at that time my strength finished.

• It was already Fajer prayers time. We couldn’t find a place inside so we went out side and found a place for three where seven of us prayed.

• After finishing and cutting our way through the crowd we went to our bus stop to find out that our bus didn’t arrive yet. We rented a mini bus and went to our camp.

• We reached the camp at 7:30 am. I don’t remember what happened but I remember me waking up at 9:00 am.

• Had a freezing shower; a cup of coffee that my cousin made for me and called my mum.

• We spent the rest of that day sleeping, drinking coffee, drinking juice and praying.

• My cousin’s wife tried to eat something from the lunch buffet; she had hummus and kebab, 15 minutes later she was crying from her stomach. It was food poisoning. There was a doctor at the group but she only had Panadol and antibiotics. My uncle’s wife had her pharmacy with her; she gave her a medicine and she recovered.

9 Jan 2006

• It’s 1:00 am and I’m coughing a lot; I couldn’t sleep and am disturbing others. I will go out and make me a cup of coffee.

• It’s Fajir prayer time and I’m still awake. I washed, prayed and got ready to leave to Arafat.

• We reached Arafat at 8:30 am. The group served breakfast; me and my partners had cookies and coffee. I spread my sleep bag and went in a deep sleep. I woke up at 10:30 am washed and started reading Quraán (Surat Al Noor).

• Before Dhuher (Noon) Prayer Al Asheikh started the Arafat Khotbah (Speech). After that we prayed Dhuher and Asser (Afternoon) Prayers together.

• We started praying to god and asking him for many things. At first I thought that time will not pass fast, and that I will get bored before sunset. But time passed so fast without me noticing.

• It took us 3 hours to reach Mozdalefa which was next door. At Mozdalefa the 7 buses of the group made a big circle surrounding us. We were breathing Dezil all the time.

• Me, my cousin, my cousin’s wife and our new friend went to collect stones to through them at Mina.

10 Jan 2006

• At nearly 12:30 am we returned to where our group had settled in Muzdalifa; to be surprised that most of the women were a sleep (Deep sleep). Lucky them they could sleep where ever their heads settle.

• We started counting our stones. I collected 154 stones; I took what I need and kept the rest for my brother.

• At 2:15 am we went to our buses to go to the Holy mosque. I had a mild asthma attack.

• We went to the Holy mosque to do Tawaf Al Efadha; the guys suggested doing it down stairs. “No” was my reply; so they suggested that we try and if I couldn’t we go upstairs. Two steps were enough for me to start shouting “I will die; I can’t breath”.

• We went to the first floor where there were less people and more air.

• We finished early so we sat waiting for Fajer (Dawn) prayer. We prayed and went to the bus stop waiting for our bus that didn’t arrive as usual. We took a mini bus and went to the camp.

• We arrived at 7:30 am. Had a freezing shower. Slept for two hours. Woke up but still sleeping (شلون؟ ما أدري).

• I had to cut my hair; I took a scissor out of my bag hold apart of my hair and cut it off, another part and cut it off. It was the worst hair cut I’ve ever had :/

• Went to wash and prayed. Went to sleep again because as we have been told earlier that we will go to Mina at 2:30 pm. I slept only for 30 minutes before this annoying lady started a religious lesson using the microphone on a high volume.

• Another asthma attack started; luckily it was a mild one.

• I had too much medication and I need to sleep but this annoying lady wouldn’t stop talking. My phone rang, it was my mum, I didn’t answer because I would collapse if I did.

• I tried to sleep again but with no use. I got up; had a cold shower, made me and my partners coffee.

• 12:30 pm lunch buffet was ready at the dinning hall. My lunch was dates and milk.

• At 1:30 pm I changed my clothes and got ready to go to Mina. While preparing my stuff I found out that I am out of Dettol wipes, I called my brother to go buy me some from the supermarket. “I need Dettol wipes, could you please go get me some quickly” “Why quickly; we have plenty of time” “No only 30 minutes before we leave” “Oh those clumsy people didn’t tell you” “Tell us what?” “We will not leave before 5 pm” “Oh, no one mentioned any thing about it”.

• I went to ask the lady in charge for the reason of delay; and her response was “We told the men that we want to celebrate Eid then go to Mina; don’t worry we will arrive before midnight”. I didn’t like her response.

• I was in tension all day; I hate to wait; we have plenty of spare time; but what do I know? It’s my first time. I closed my mouth and waited.

• We left at 5:04 pm; I wasn’t feeling good at that time; my breathing was getting worse.

• All buses headed to Mina. At nearly 7 pm traffic stopped moving.

• I got a call at 7:30 pm from my father asking me if we finished throwing the stones or not I told him that we were stuck in traffic and that we didn’t move on time and that there was a delay to celebrate eid. “Celebrate Eid? All Kuwaiti groups have finished throwing the stones and are already in their tents in Mina” “I guess we are lucky to be with a Saudi group then; Kuwaiti groups don’t celebrate eid like we do. poor Kuwaiti groups” “Stop complaining, it was your choice, you are the one who wanted to go with your cousins. Take care and calm down”.

• It was 10:40 pm and the traffic was still jammed; the bus was still stopping at the same place. No one telling us anything; I call my brother who is sitting in the front seat and ask him to ask someone to explain to us what is happening and are we going to reach Mina tonight or not.

• My brother calls back “they don’t know; and they are not giving me any reasonable response” “Why don’t we go walking instead” “No; there is a tunnel that we have to cross before Mina and no way you will make it; You are asthmatic” “I can do it; I am strong enough, I will load my lungs with my inhalers and cover my nose and mouth” “”No, no” “I will go alone then” “I will call dad and tell him that you want to suicide”.

• In less than 5 minutes I received a call from my father “TF calm down, You will not miss anything if you didn’t reach Mina tonight, It’s the groups fault, not yours. And I have asked if you could through today’s stones with tomorrows and they said ok” “OK” I just can’t say no to my dad :P

11 Jan 2006

• 12:15 am still didn’t move; my breathing is getting worse. I start loosing my temper.

• A lady sitting near my cousin was listening to me, my cousin, her brother’s wife, my uncle’s wife and our new friend talking about the silly excuse of delay. When suddenly this lady starts talking “It’s men who are concerned in taking decisions” يا ليتها ما تكلت. My cousin who had lost her temper hours ago replied with a face full of anger “Oh, so we are sheeps now. They demand and we obey” “Yes” The women replays. “Yes, You are a sheep, but I am not” my cousin said in a calm voice. I was shocked at first but started laughing later.

• 1:30 am one of the guys in charge held the microphone and started talking. No he wasn’t apologizing for the delay; and no, he wasn’t explaining the situation to us. He was saying “I have a clue; if you solve it I will give you SAR 200”, my angry cousin replied “What about throwing your bald head with stones instead”, and unfortunately he didn’t hear her. I couldn’t stop laughing. She made my day

• 1:45 am the bus turned around and headed back to the camp with no explanation. How rude ?!!!!!

• I was angry. No; I was really angry. No no; I was very very very angry but I was trying to control my temper to not spoil my Hajj.

• When we arrived I had a freezing shower and a Yukh cup of coffee then went to bed trying to get some sleep.

• Minutes from laying down a serious asthma attack started. I jumped out of bed; my cousin was searching for the doctor, she wasn’t in the camp (Lucky me). I tried to settle my breathing a little to manage taking my inhaler, I couldn’t my lips turned blue and I started loosing my strength, I tried again I took the deepest breath I could and started shouting loud (I don’t know how I did that; it never worked before), it settled a bit and then I started taking my inhaler as much as I could. I settled and started coughing and sacking; my cousin made me a cup of coffee.

• I felt good but didn’t want to lay again; I was afraid that I would lose my breath if I did.

• The lady in charge came to explain the reasons of delay and returning back with no explanation and may be why others didn’t take long to celebrate eid as she and her co-workers did. Well her rude response was “We didn’t make it to Mina on time because you didn’t pray enough; your intentions were not clean enough”. “Could you please SHUT UP because I need to sleep” I said; and silence it was after my valuable words.

• I woke up at 6:00 am with a terrible neck pain because I was sleeping while sitting. I washed, prayed, had a cup of coffee and called my mum.

• My brother called to check on me and apologize about his attitude last night, explaining that he was afraid that I might die in that tunnel. And he told me that if the group buses doesn’t move to Mina at 2:30 pm we and our partners will rent a mini bus and go alone (Good :D)

• 2:30 pm all buses moved to Mina; we reached there at 4:15 pm, went to the tents; didn’t go to throw the stones because it was crowded at that time. Two hours later the guys called telling us that we can go now and that the rest of the group will not be going before dinner.

• We left the tents heading to our target. The streets were crowded with small tents, sleeping people, trash and street vendors. The smell was gross; my cousin who is 20 years old, very tall and heavy guy fainted. He wasn’t wearing his fume respirator. Though I was wearing two I felt dizzy; the smell was very strong, it was a killer smell.

• We reached our target after nearly two hours of walking and stopping trying to wake up my cousin. To our surprise the place was empty. We threw the stones of yesterday that we have missed then threw today’s stones. Then; went back to our tents.

• Mina was really polluted, bad smells were surrounding us; it was hard to breath there.

• Dinner buffet was served; all women went to have dinner except for us, our friend and her mum who stayed wondering how in god they could eat in such atmosphere?

12 Jan 2006

• 2:30 am they told us to get ready to leave Mina; we got ready and kept waiting, waiting, waiting, I hate waiting, washed, prayed Fajir (Dawn) and waited until 7:30 am.

• At last we left Mina and went to the camp. Had a freezing shower and a cup of coffee.

• My brother called asking me to come out and take the donuts he bought for us. It was real donuts; real food. I had three pieces.

• My mum called later to tell me about those who died while throwing the stones today noon. It was a silly accident; people went to throw the stones while carrying their small tents and luggage though there were warning signs all over the place; the signs were in all languages and with pictures for those who can’t read بس عمك أصمخ

• 9:30 pm we left to Mina; headed directly to throw the stones, threw them and went to our tents. Mina was nearly empty at that time; most people have left after throwing their stones earlier today.

• Dinner buffet was served at 11:15 pm; people had dinner; we were wondering how in god they could eat in such atmosphere. I got a mild asthma attack.

13 Jan 2006

• We didn’t sleep at all last night. At 1:15 pm we went to throw the stones. And kept waiting for the buses to arrive. The man in charge told us that the buses will not arrive soon (Oh how kind of him to do. What a wonderful group).

• We thought that it would be nice to check some street vendors and check what kind of products they are selling, as for me it was a good opportunity to take some photos.

• After that we rented a mini bus and went to the camp. Had a freezing shower, my cousin made us coffee, we had it together and started packing.

• At 7:00 pm we went to this mall that we discovered near our camp. It was a good one. I got my parents gifts from “Al Arabia le El Oud”, bought my sister a scarf and key chain from “Bedoun Esm”, her husband and my grand parents from “Al qurashi”, My brother and his wife from “Faces”, Loosh from “Nike”, Boodi from “ELC”.

• After finishing shopping I received a call from my cousin “TF, where are you?” “Am near ELC” “Do you know where Faces is?” “Yeah” “Make it on your left side and go strait ahead” “Aha am walking” “Continue walking” “Oh God Starbucks” “Yeah hahahahaha” (You can see that I’ve got my coffee addiction from my mother side; all of my cousins are coffee addicts) I love them. I sat with my cousins and had too much coffee.

• We went to the Camp at 10:30 pm. A truck came and took our luggage to Taif Air port.

14 Jan 2006

• Still no sleep

• At 2:00 am we went to the Holy mosque to do “Tawaf al Wada’a” our good bye.

• It was very crowded so we went to the roof to do our Tawaf.

• I and my angry cousin were walking together because the others were very slow.

• We started saying our prayers while walking; suddenly my cousin started talking in a strange language !! “What are you saying?” “I’m half asleep I guess, but God understands”.

• We finished a little before the Fajir “Dawn” Prayer call; we found a place and sat waiting for the others to finish.

• My brother, cousin and his mother finished first; my other cousin and his wife finished after.

• We all sat together waiting for the prayer to start; we prayed and went to wait for our “always on time bus”; for our surprise it was there; on time for the first time.

• We sat on our regular seats and slept. I remember me waking up while the bus was stopping at a gas station and taking a picture of a sign. (Yes while sleeping).

• I wake up again when arriving at Taif Airport.

• They tell us that there will be a delay and that we will not fly before 1:30 pm.

• I take three seats in the waiting hall and sleep. (Yes in a Saudi Airport in front of all)

• 1:00 pm they called for our flight.

• We sat on our seats and slept.

• My cousin wakes me up “Wake up we landed”.

• I wake up; get out of plane; go get my luggage. I see a guy I know waving at me, he is my sister’s husband “Hi where is my sister” “Waiting for you at your Grandparents house”.

• I go to my Grandparents house; I say hi to them, I say bye to them and head to Kuwait.

• We arrived at 10:30 pm.

• My mum was hugging me tight and crying “Oh you are skinny and pale, you look awful” “Thank you mum for your sweet complement”.

• I had a HOT shower and went to bed for a 12 hours sleep نومه بضمير

Things to be mentioned Hajj was a great experience. The group I was with sucks and I still want my money back.

That doesn’t mean that all Saudi groups are bad. My partners were great; I really did enjoy their company. I have a new Saudi friend; we still are in contact. I appreciate my life more now. Thanks to Allah. There are too much poor Muslims around the world and they need our help.